Geffen Records

#1 I'm buying Matt some new beard busters when a very obese woman rides by on an electric cart...she didn't want to walk and apparently neither did her grand daughter who rode standing but leaning into granny's belly like a giant bean bag chair. I thought this was funny already and then the little girl opens her mouth as they drive past me...

Little Girl: "I just farted."

Grandma. "That's wonderful. Thanks for sharing."

#2 I'm standing in line dealing with an elderly clerk who insisted that I take a plastic bag when I asked 3 times for no bag. I give her a twenty and the owed change comes to $6.66. The evil looking biker behind me was already using the brush he was about to purchase in his ratty hair. It made a crunchy sound in his dried out pony tail as he read the liner notes from the Godsmack C.D. he was also planning to purchase.

clerk: That don't look good.

ned: what's wrong?

clerk: that's the devil's number.

biker: that ain't the number of the beast...but he's coming alright.

the clerk was genuinely terrified that this man was one of hell's disciples and he magically put the number on that screen.  I took my items back out of the plastic bag and left the store immediately. Wow.

So far the tour has been awesome. really fun bands and we got our new back drop today. Whoopdee doo!

ned